The Top Ten Reasons to Keep Smoking

                   By Rita Mullin and Jack Huber

If you're still not sure you want to quit, with our tongues firmly in our cheeks, we've come up with the top ten reasons to keep smoking.

10. That lighter comes in handy for birthday candles.

9. Your ex-spouse wanted you to quit and you won't give him/her the satisfaction.

8. The occasional holes in your clothes give you a needed excuse to shop

7. Philip Morris needs that money more than you do.

6. Those extra wrinkles give you that "mature" look.

5. The smell on your coat makes it easy to pick it out of a pile at a party.

4. If not for the smoking you'd be perfect, and nobody likes a perfect person.

3. If your sense of smell came back you'd have to do something about that litter box.

2. You wouldn't get any exercise at all if you didn't run outside the building every hour for a cigarette.

1. That rattle when you breathe reassures you that you're still alive!